An early morning walk to try to get the moon setting behind Barometer - missed it by ten minutes.

And the turbines from the other side of Pillar Mountain - the Dump.

Eagles

 Tis' the time of year when eagles are just everywhere!

Tres Elegant!

Sick Snow

 I have been sick for ten days now. I am expecting another four days of immediate recovery. I think the overall return of full health will be 'bout June...I am stillll movin'! I'ma tryin'!

 I took Abby sledding. It was FUN!

Abby's Favorite Song!

   
The Decemberists - "The Mariner's Revenge Song"

I really wish I had my camera

 Famous last words! I said, "I really wish I had my camera" five times yesterday. By the fifth time I was in total and utter disbelief that my lack of photographic equipment on my person could have been so ill timed!!! It's not like I had some epic day off.  I wanted it to be, but I was feeling like I was getting sick (soar throat, weird ill chest feeling, fatigue) so I was a little off. Day started with breakfast (not made by me!). I actually had eggs fried in bacon grease which I swear is a first for me. Timothy insists I have tried this method of egg preparation before, which may be true, but not in the last eight years or so.

Anyway, lots of little things happened, including driving up Pillar for a minute (I wish I had my camera so I could photograph my boyfriend's sweet butt hanging over the edge of that cliff so deliciously). In a circuitous way ended up at Tim's work and I actually went inside their man cave (I wish I had my camera). He worked for all of five minutes (got paid for two hours, spelled U-N-I-O-N) and we decided to go to Gibson's Cove before I had to pick up Abz and go to a meeting.

 The beach was lovely. (I wish I had my camera.)

 Oh, look at this - a smooth black slate pebble and a gnarly piece of white barnacle with like flames of black slate sand settled amongst the volcanic ash - huh, reminds me of Timmy and I. He's dark, slippery, hard to get a hold of. Me, light catching texture, sticks well to other objects. Both of us side by side with flames projecting out of our bodies. (I wish I had my camera)

The final and last straw is when Timmy said, "Hey go down by the crab pots. There is a sow and cub right on the beach." Yep, twenty feet away, perfect picture opportunity, no decent camera. Ok, so I had my crappy cell phone camera (my cell phone is not a fancy phone. Crappy phone with a crappy image).  A low quality image is not really good for anything.  I take pictures because I like to. It is something that I just do. I submit them for publications and whatnot and sometimes they get used, which is awesome. These pictures will never be used for anything except to offer a vague blobby impression of the things I just wrote about. I could vow to carry my camera with me even on the most mundane errands, during which picture opportunities often arise, but you know if I do that now, I will see nothing worth capturing! 

Outside

 With the days longer and our recent (albeit fleeting) warm streak, there have been more outside times! First playground visit of the year. I don't remember the last time we went.

 Moss is happy...

 Fishermen busy catching cod....

Cannery workers busy processing...

 Eagles (Dumpster turkeys) abound, gettin' scraps, waste, and such.

Fake light

 The light "streaming in" is my fake light lamp that's supposed to help with the whole vitamin D/SAD stuff. I don't get depressed in the winter, I just run out of energy!

 Good winter times. Been cooking a lot more. Made some awesome Chinese style duck soup! It's probably one of the best dishes I have ever made. Also did a bang up job on some deer stew. The broth reminded me of French onion soup, and the rosemary just POW, hit it right. I owe thanks to my friends Rickhart and Patrick for the meat, and Safeway for the donuts :)

Rihanna - Rehab

Kulluk (Burb)

 When an oil rig crashes in your back yard, you get more barges and ships with supplies, more people, and more money sprinkled around town, including in Tim's pockets!

 He has gotten a lot more hours at the pier, and odd hours they are. He sort of knows the days he works, but never the times. It's whenever the container ship arrives, or in this case, whenever whatever ship needs docking and unloading/loading. In fact, Timmy is pretty whenever too. He is random. No normal office hours. He is a like a Jackson Pollock painting. It makes things interesting, and difficult.

 So, how did I meet his man? Funny story, to me, to us. 

 I was walking on Shelikof with Abby in the stroller. There was this guy walking on the opposite side of the street directly parallel to me. He sort of slowed down, so did I. He sped up, so did I, not really on purpose, just seemed to happen that way. He kept walking though, but I took some initiative and yelled out "Hey you!" I asked him where he from from (since he clearly was not from Kodiak based on his attire). He is from Kodiak. I didn't really believe him. He walked with me and we talked. I was totally weirded out that I had a guy talking to me when I am pushing a stroller (that is not normal!).  We hung out for a couple months. He was pretty weird and I am surprised I continued to hang out with him. I don't know what the hell happened, but we started having a lot of fun together.

The Timmy that was...
The Timmy that was, before the fire, was pretty radical, and pretty fun to be around some times. It's hard to describe him. I only knew him for like five months (seems longer). I had heard a lot about his antics, but only experienced a smidgen. From September to November was, at least thus far, our heyday. Tim has changed a lot in some ways (like less boom and less fireworks), and some a little. He is slightly more aware of how he effects others.

The mid-weeks of January were not pleasant. He just wasn't around and when he was he seemed distressed or very distant. I felt like I had lost him. I guess I did really. He went feral, like a wolf. He ran to the woods for a few days at a time, howled at the moon, and came limping back to my place with a whimper early in the morning. He came to be with me, and eat, and took off again. I picked sticks out of his beard. From what I gather, he felt that I did not deserve him. He would always say to me "what did you do to deserve me?, as in, what  could I have possibly done to deserve someone as wretchedly unworthy as him? At the same as feeling inadequate, he was afraid of losing me. All of this, us, amongst the ruin of his life. It was too much for him to handle.

 This helicopter was flying really low and moving erratically.  I knew they were filming, but there was a moment when they were swerving and about five feet above a light pole where I wondered if they were crashing...and I definitely wondered if they were allowed to fly that freaking low.

Then as they swooshed by I got a shot of him shooting me and me shooting him.

My mom made the Sleeping Beauty dress. When Abby met Princess Aurora, Aurora said "Are you dressed like me or am I dressed like you?!" Abby replied, " We are dressed like each other."

"What's a week-end?"

 Weekends are weird for me. The busy week comes slamming to a halt, Abby usually goes to dad's, and I am left to deal with me. I am usually tired and I spend a bit of time on sleep, especially this time of year when it is dark a lot. Friday I actually got a table and chairs - a place to sit and eat, for more than one person. Unfortunately I hit my head unloading the table. Luckily, I did not get a concussion. I was very happy about that!
On Saturday I woke up, did yoga and walked, took Abby to dance and had a mandatory nap!  I should have spent the evening doing pottery or something, but instead we went to Tim's parents and then Abby and I visited with Amy and Miso Chorizo (the Chihuahua).  It was good to get some girl time.
 

 Sunday started out well. Did yoga, showered, made waffles, and then Pasagshak! It was nice out. Not windy or rainy. Overall an excellent visit, albeit somewhat brief because of the lack of daylight.

 We even happened to go at low tide, which is ideal, because it's necessary for hitting my favorite spots.

 Very foamy. That foam is a foot high or so.

 Abby is a good poser. Sometimes her smile is subdued, sometimes she makes funny faces, and in rare moments, I capture her natural "I am not posing" smile.

Overall a good day. That evening we went to Tim's parents again (I love them!), I dropped him off so he could do some stuff. He came back late, but I got up to hang with him for a bit. Then, out of the blue, he mentally freaked out. He has been rather overwhelmed since the fire, but his behavior was very uncool.  Funny, earlier that day I made Abby promise to have "no crazy boyfriends" when she goes up. How ironic. Anyway, as you promised Abby, they cannot be like Lou the dog, crazy, but sooo cute! Or like Timmy, who rocks my world.

"Where there is desire there is going be a flame.
Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned."

I'm trying to not let myself get too close to this flame. He's hot. Consumes me.  

I can say that I've lived. I have a career, I have an amazing daughter, and I've had Timmy.