Mill Bay beach, birthday party, bittersweet

Abby wanted in on the action.

Had to give the gift to its rightful recipient.

Jumping fun!

Playing doctor.

Shy.

Little hands.

Hard to get picture with squirming daughter.

At church, the sermon was about mountain top experiences, the experiences when you feel most spiritual. The first thought that popped in my head is when Gideon and I were in Hocking Hills, high up on a the ridge of a gorge, sitting in the sun, panting from hiking up there, endorphins running through us. It was very beautiful, and we were happy. So, being free to relax in the sun with those I love.....

On Sunday, Shawen dropped me off at Mill Bay beach while he and Abby went to the video store. At 9pm it was still light out, but getting dark. The waves were big and foamy, a dark charcoal, with higlights of aqua and orange as the sun was still hitting a giant cloud, which reflected on the water. There should be a disclosure like there is on mirrors, the waves appear much bigger when on the beach - a little intimidating. Just the four inches of foam that brushed my feet had some serious power to it. The south section of beach that was once rocky is totally sandy and smooth. All the rocks were pushed up against the "rock house" as Abby's calls in, into a huge five foot high pile. There were chunks of logs wedged in between and under boulders, and rocks I used to sit on are just gone - moved or buried. Monday morning it was way warmer and sunny! The huge rock pile is gone and some new rocks are exposed, but for the most part it's the same ol' beach, but still impressive to see the effects of the waves.

While my visits to Mill Bay beach were exciting, and reminded me of the forces at work, sometimes it's the little things, like going to a birthday party, going to the playground, or just reading books where I find I am content. Abby has fun, and I have fun. Watching Ni Hao Kai Lan, the same show where Rintoo wouldn't forgive Tully, the focus was "think of what you can do, not what you can't do". And although I did all the things I can do, and was content at the time, I find myself still being bitter and sad. I don't understand what I did that is so unforgivable.