Friday, November 28, 2014

 I am thankful for Abby and I's first Clue game, my cat who squeezes herself into the game lid, and yoga.
I have had the Clue game since I was a pre-teen. I laid out all the pieces and cards to make sure I had it all, and indeed I still even have the directions in Spanish.
 
Although the large box she can comfortably nudge herself into, she chose a much much smaller box, and tried really hard to get in there. The more she kept pawing and squeezing, the more we laughed. Finally Abby said, "This is embarrassing." Our super fat cat trying to squeeze into a 9 x 6 in. box.....

Don't like it, then don't read it

I couldn't have conjured this rainbow to appear the moment I arrived if I tried. But I wonder, what is the limit to our thoughts? I told Timmy about the hair loss. He asked what it is that I thought. I replied, "I thought that perhaps her inner appearance should reflect her outer." He said, "Ah, and the frame was destroyed." Does it have anything to do with me? Probably not. I hope not. Does my appearance at this site for the first time in years have any correlation to the appearance of a rainbow at that exact moment? Unlikely.
  
Sometimes we think things we regret. After listening to about ten minutes of ridiculing and bantering and complaining and demanding and downright absolute rudeness, Timmy told the person on the other line they would "taste the flame." Words to hurt and nothing more. He has experience in this department, and knows the sting. She tragically was badly burnt days later. It is horrible with no good outcome. I have learned it is wise to not even think bad thoughts, and I have a mind set as to not now and in the future. Good thoughts bring goodness one hopes. There is so much loss and suffering in this world, it doesn't need any more. 

Thus, I am fully cognoscente that there are far more egregious aspects to life than my petty exile, but it is something to focus on, because it is one of the aspects I cannot change. I love the history of WWII on Kodiak, and I have been deemed too nefarious to be a part of it. A million good thoughts would not help. You wonder, what did this expulsion do to me these past years?

Having lost faith in myself, I pulled away from everyone here. I isolated myself because I felt unworthy. It made the people I know feel like THEY were unworthy of my acquaintanceship, when in fact it is I who is too lowly. I spend my life on this Rock with my daughter, my cat, Timothy when he decides to make himself available, his family, the trees, salty water, and rocks. It is not just the place I lost, but I lost any hope, of ever being, anything but an outcast.


Friday, November 21, 2014

From start to end

Family fun night.

Abby is just not so physically coordinated. 


One weekend from start to end. Sometimes stories begin at the end and work their way back. If only we had that hindsight. 
I couldn't sleep, so I ended up at Wild Alaskan. No pictures of the boat.

Afterwards worked on my headlamp photography.



I am not afraid, but I'm not stupid.


High noon. I lightened this photo.

Later to Chiniak ready ammunition bunker. At the very top there. Squint.


It was blowing so hard I could barely take a picture!

Pill box
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCSQ72efsuc









Not much left interior wise, but the concrete is in amazing condition. 


Mirror of Miller Point



Ladder to below ground story. No, I walked in the main way, but the ladder is totally solid still.



A great part of me died,

but I finally have embraced my exile. Frankly, I don't give a damn.
(Which, in hindsight, adding a week later, I guess that's not true. I have been condemned to ignorance, and it;s frustrating. For example, I can't look at original documents.)

Ah, I see I deleted what I wrote. I couldn't commit. It was a touchy subject. In this photo, I am gesturing, or jester-ing.Can we influence physical existence by our thought? I will perhaps follow up with this at a later date.


Another room? Filled with gravel. 

Martson mat. The runway is surprising in good condition. We have had torrential rains, and water has gathered in the roads and potholes, except for the runway.

Logging. I thought there was supposed to be a buffer. Isn't there a State right away near roads?

Late night date.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpaf0H4qFNw
Hard Wired


From start to end

Family fun night.

Abby is just not so physically coordinated. 


One weekend from start to end. Sometimes stories begin at the end and work their way back. If only we had that hindsight. 
I couldn't sleep, so I ended up at Wild Alaskan. No pictures of the boat.

Afterwards worked on my headlamp photography.



I am not afraid, but I'm not stupid.


High noon. I lightened this photo.

Later to Chiniak ready ammunition bunker. At the very top there. Squint.


It was blowing so hard I could barely take a picture!

Pill box









Not much left interior wise, but the concrete is in amazing condition. 


Mirror of Miller Point



Ladder to below ground story. No, I walked in the main way, but the ladder is totally solid still.



A great part of me died,

but I finally have embraced my exile. Frankly, I don't give a damn. Challenge to rise above.
(Which, in hindsight, adding a week later, I guess that's not true. I have been condemned to ignorance, and it;s frustrating. For example, I can;t look at original documents.)

Ah, I see I deleted what I wrote. I couldn;t commit. It was a touchy subject. In this photo, I am gesturing, or jester-ing.


Another room? Filled with gravel. 

Martson mat. The runway is surprising in good condition. We have had torrential rains, and water has gathered in the roads and potholes, except for the runway.

Logging. I thought there was supposed to be a buffer. Isn't there a State right away near roads?

Late night date.