Round 1

Playing at Sargent Park and Baranov Museum. Abby loves flowers.

Very rainy Pasagshak. We stayed all of oh, 15 minutes.

It's spinning.

Throwing rocks.

We had a lovely evening. Abby got to go to the playground (her favorite), and then we went to a sunny spot overlooking the majestic water and mountains. The warm breeze fanned us as we played in the sun, while my mom sang and dad snapped pics. It was a very happy moment.

Earlier today we went to the beach and Morgan and I took a quick walk over the bridge while Abby snoozed.

My parents made it in to Kodiak just in time - the last sunny day before this drench! I wonder how long this will last? Will they see a day of sun? Not sure, it seems unlikely, but we're staying busy.

Abby is very happy to have them here. It means extra attention and presents EVERYDAY. She wakes up saying "Grandmum and Grandad are here."

So far we have been to the touch tank, the pool, a lecture at the museum, the library, and on a walk in the forest. We have cooked chicken picatta, spaghetti with meat sauce, and tomorrow will be Szechuan chicken. Tonight my mom and I are going with three of my friends for cheesecake at the Chart Room. Tomorrow church and not sure what else. We have been staying in the house, coloring, reading, and watching Dora and Wubzy. While that is just fine, if the rain lifted, I wouldn't mind! It would be nice to go to the beach at least once.

St. Herman's Pilgrimage

Playing games while waiting for 2.5 hours for a skiff. It was a minus tide and very foggy on Spruce Is. I was just going to go by myself, but it was taking so long I convinced Shawen to bring Abby. I am very glad they were there.

Happy on board.

Fr. Gerasim's cell. "Known as a stern, but loving priest, Father Gerasim Schmalz dedicated his life to the Alutiiq people. As a missionary pastor he served the villages of Afognak and Ouzinkie and traveled to outlying villages to share his faith. As a monk he revived the monasticism of Saint Herman on Spruce Island. As a friend he provided spiritual assistance and gave generously of his time and hand made crafts." If you want to learn more about him:

http://alutiiqmuseum.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=703&Itemid=142

Theotokos of Kaluga Chapel.

Chapel of Sts. Sergius and Herman of Valaam.

Holy St. Herman site where pilgrims collect earth.

Holy water to Abby's right.

Packed in like rats on the way back. The ride back was the least fun.

Holy Resurrection Cathedral at sunrise.

I was so happy I was able to see where Fr. Gerasim lived. I feel a close connection to him as I care for his collections and have read and wrote about him. It was a great day.

Unfortunately, my backpack got left behind on a skiff. I lost my phone, rain pants, and all of my favorite jewelry. Why would I have my favorite jewlery with me? I wasn't supposed to. It's a long story. Anyway, it's just posessions. I still have the most important and absolute favorite, my daughter, but a really sucky moment when I realized it was all gone. However, I got it back! I have learned I need to have more faith. I have come so far in this department, but have a ways to go.

Community Archaeology 2010

Patrick (behind my head) is explaining his archaeological theories of the moment for this house pit. I'm pondering.

Puskhi - can't believe I didn't get burned! I was wading right though it, hopping from site to site. This year there is a main trench, but due to the discovery of human remains, which happens occasionally, they are only digging in a small part of the midden and have opened up two 4 x 4 m. house pits. I am VERY glad I went out for a day. I would have been confused trying to documenting the dig otherwise.

Jill's "artifact". Surprisingly, in their house they found NO artifacts! Very tidy people there apparently. Patrick placed his HP spot-on though. They unearthed the fire hearth. (Say that three times.)

And nice ash Jill! They had to dig out about a 3 feet drift of Katmai ash.

All around lovely.

An empty harbor - a rare sight!!!

Abby Love

Edvard Munch The Scream, of course.

One of those rare sunny days at the harbor.

You are so beautiful, it kinds of makes a pit in my stomach. I love you so much, too much.

You are just absolutely the most beautiful thing on Earth.

PLEASE? PLease? please? P uh lea se.....
You have no idea, no possible way. Please, have mercy.

Oh wait, stabbed, and crucified, ok.

Amelia Peabody

My pronunciation is atrocious (Abby's spanglish seems to be better, see post below), and these I had to learn how to say correctly, or learn what they mean: Acrimonious
Peroration
Detritus
Declivity
Uxorious
Tatterdemalion
Blithely
Desultory
Equanimity
Denouement


A man trying to convince himself of something he knows is true and does not want to believe it. Until then, we must make the best of what fate has to offer, and accept the good with gratitude and the bad with fortitude.

To call the feeling a premonition or foreboding would not have been entirely accurate. It was rather, based on expert knowledge of the criminal mind and a certain degree of informed cynicism. Criminals in my experience, do not suddenly turn into honest men. Jamil was still in need of admittance and he was still resentful of us. Nothing had changed there, and the more we frustrated his attempts to get what he wanted, the more resentful he would be.

My reception from Selim’s wives was much more enthusiastic. They were both young and pretty and I must confess-though I do not approve of polygamy-that they seemed to get on more like affectionate sisters than rivals.

Memory is capricious and aberrant. – I love her constant use of axioms.

“You might shave your beard,” I said. Selim went pale and clutched at his treasured beard. I repented my cruelty almost at once. “I was joking Selim. You are not known in this region; I do not believe a disguise is necessary.”

She was bored and restless, and annoyed with her husband, and fascinated by Sethos. It wouldn’t have required more than that. Admittedly her motives are less important than his. Why did he do it? Surely not to rescue a damsel in distress.

At 2.9 years of age, Abby speaks quite a bit of spanglish. She tells me, "Mommy, seet (sit), ay ay ay, no no no, arriba!" She counts in Spanish and English, the whole nine yards. And it has nothing to do with me except the choice of daycare. She's just cuteness all around. I kind of imagined my little girl in poopy frocks sipping "tea", instead it's grass-stained butt racing down slides, and I love it!

Anchorage - diverse, sprawling, entertaining, money spending zone. There's Leroy's family restaurant, next to the tattoo parlor, next to the flower shop; an Indian restaurant, a Korean market, and a pizza place all in a row, right across from the funky hair salon and pediatric Dr. You just need to know which direction to go! And don't forget the Brown Jug liquor store, with "community minded prices", because liquor stores are definitely so very community minded.

You may be dying to know what gastronomic delicacy I chose from the plethora of choices available:Indian, it goes without saying, if you did not guess this, you do not know me!Arby's! What? Yep, I was at a crappy mall and choices were limited, and you know what, meat on a bun with spicy horseradish and sweet barbecue sauce, with a side of piping hot fried potato cakes is just roots food!

I spent way too much money (do not get into debt Abby! do as mom says...), and will post photos later of my adventurous choices in attire. The only thing I did not do is the super skinny "leggings" jeans. My bubble butt is just too big. If I reach my weight loss goal (-15 more pounds) I'll try it. Abby is not too into fashion yet (it's whatever matches mud), but I hope she later appreciates, as in makes fun of, mommy's present attempts, fedora and all.

FOG!

Kept me from going to Anchorage last week. Will try again on Thursday.

My supe encouraged me to skip out last week and enjoy the sun and I did! (Unlike lower 48, we have sun days, not snow days) I went to the south end of Near Is. to the wildflower field.

Summer party with Kori (not pictured).

One (and only) Day of Summer

DO I NEED TO SAY ANYTHING?!!!

Pasagshak sand makes the best castles.

Paradise.

We "dyed" are tongues blue for the 4th, with blue candy.

Creative director and lead colorer, Abigail.

Assistant colorer and word finder, Mom.

This is an old one. Sometimes her choice of colors is intersting, or maybe that was dad.

Note how she colors the features - nose, mouth, and eyes.

Her modernist phase.

This is also from about six months ago.

I am being spotlighted in the next RC-WR newsletter. Here the questions and my responses (slightly edited by me for the purpose of my public blog).

1. How did you begin your career as a registrar?

My interest in a museum career solidified while I was earning an M.A. in Art History at the University of Cincinnati, which also offered a Museum Studies Graduate Certificate. As part of my scholarship, I worked as a Fine Arts Collections Assistant with the university’s collections. Under the direction of the Director of DAAP Galleries and the Museum Studies program, I got more hands-on experience than I ever anticipated. The coursework for the certificate was practical and aimed at preparing students for museum jobs, and the collections assistant position complimented it beautifully. I managed the loan program, completed annual inventories of artwork, packed and transported artwork, wrote about collections, and even restored frames. I also had the unusual opportunity to help open a new gallery featuring the collections. Working as a key member of a small team to accomplish a large and important project was invigorating and got me really excited to start my museum career.

As a recent graduate, I knew I would have to look far and wide for a position in my field. I was very fortunately hired at a museum in Kodiak, Alaska for a two-year registration and storage project. The project entailed collections documentation, database development, installation of new drawers for collections units, obtaining legal paperwork from donors and lenders, and even researching land ownership for archaeological collections. The position was a good fit and it became permanent. Since reorganizing the museum’s collections, I have worked on NAGPRA projects - including repatriations and the formation of the Repatriation Commission, a photograph documentation grant, exhibit curation, and researching the ownership of archaeological collections.

2. Did or do you have a mentor in the field?

Anne "edited", now Director of "edited", continues to be a guiding force. Her astute professionalism and gracefulness at balancing projects and working with others is admirable. She demonstrated ethical responsibility, dedication to the museum profession, and how to successfully work as part of a team.

Also, Amy "edited", "edited", constantly amazes me. If I can in any way learn to communicate in verbal or written form the way she does, my life will be complete!

3. What is your favorite part of registration work?

I love working with people to preserve and share material culture. I especially enjoy caring for objects - whether it’s documenting them, backing up that documentation (I am a back-up freak), or helping to physically preserve an object by improving its storage. However, sharing the museum’s collections via our programs, and even while giving tours and working with volunteers, gives me a sense of contribution and accomplishment.

4. What is the most challenging aspect of your job?

The Museum is a small repository, but we care for a very large collection – with nearly 250,000 items. Managing a multitude of projects and prioritizing my efforts are daily challenges. Sometimes my head spins at the number of responsibilities I face, but as my colleagues tell me, its job security.

5. What type of objects do you like to work with the most?

I help care for everything Alutiiq – archives, film and audio recordings, archaeological assemblages, contemporary art, photographs, and natural history specimens, and that’s one reason why my position is so rewarding. One day I am working with a 500-year-old spruce root basket, the next day I am building a storage mount for a 24-foot-long kayak, and then the next I am digitizing audio recordings. I learn something new on a regular basis, and that is what I like the most.

6. Which was your favorite exhibition that you have seen to date?

I enjoyed Giinaquq: Like a Face, an exhibit of 19^th century Alutiiq masks, as it taught me that exhibits can go far beyond objects on a wall. The Alutiiq Museum produced the exhibition in collaboration with the French owner of the collection. The community was involved in the planning the exhibit and it events. Alaska Native artists traveled to Boulogne-sur-Mer, France to view the masks, where they shared the need for the masks to be shown in Alaska. The French agreed, and then the Museum brought a selection of the masks to Alaska for all to see. Finally, the masks returned to France with new information. The French had long interpreted the pieces as artwork, which they are, but now they understand their cultural meaning too – how they were made and used and what they mean to Alutiiqs. The collaboration helped two different cultures gain an appreciation for one amazing collection, and in the process, each other.

7. What do you wish for the future of the registration profession?

Understanding. When I tell visitors and even some of my friends I am a Registrar, they don’t really understand what I do. Luckily, working in a museum with a small staff has benefits – I get to work on a variety of projects. There are not many dull moments! I hope that the public and even our own co-workers learn to further appreciate the importance of collections management and registration. After all, collections are al the foundation of all the museum work.

I seriously just realized I do not brag about Abby enough. I don't want to be one of those parents that an I Love Lucy episode made fun of - the "my child is so great" parent, but, my child is so beautiful, just insanely georgous, and super smart. She can count past 20, knew her a,b,c's and shapes and colors months ago, is on the verge of reading and writing, can color within the lines, and she's super sweet - all at 2.9 years old. (It goes without saying that she has good verbal communication skills. Yes, complete sentences.)

My mom sent an e-card for the 4th of July and Abby loved it. It has jumping dolphins, a puppy dog with the Flag, the Statue of Liberty, and fireworks! She identified all of these things, including the Statue of Liberty. My parents and I went to NYC when I was about 9, and when we were there I got a pop-up book about the statue, it's construction, and delivery. She loves that book.

Another book she likes is one that has "over 50 fun flaps" (yes, over 50....). Anyway, the farm-themed topics include baby animal names, counting, colors, shapes, and animal sounds. At first she did good, there were a few things she didn't know like the word hatchling and hee-haw for donkey, but now, she reads the book to me. Names of things are really easy for her, her vocabulary is super. For her age, she is a fantastic counter. She does well with shapes, I only remind her of rectangle once in a while. Colors though take her a little time. I am not sure what that's about. I think she is cooncentrating on the other aspects of an object - it's name, shape, how many, and just not paying attention until I ask perhaps (of course it's yellow mom, duh!).

Her beauty rivals even the supreme being. I can't imagine anything more beautiful than her - a true magestic vision. Not to be confused with grace. She's definitely a little clumsy, just randomly falling over and hurting herself.

Abby requested fireworks and cinammon rolls for breakfast.

My parents called unexpectedly, way later than they normally do! They were enjoying 4th festivities and ran into Clair, and they called so we could talk. I haven't heard her voice in SO long. After a few minutes I could recognize it, but boy, twelve years and a signal 3,500 miles apart was difficult.
My dad's description of their encounter was so unexpected. He said it was like a movie scene, and he described Clair and how good she looks, and how she dresses looking like a 1930s starlet, and how it was just such a cool moment (It was a dramatic description. It's hard to describe in writing, but it was as if he just told me he is a Twilight fan or something). He went on to say how downtown was so vibrant and there were so many people about. It definitely made me yearn for home - a 4th actually hot, going to an outdoor swimming pool to cool off, etc.
I want to go somewhere closer. I am afraid of the violence, traffic, and silly things like that (for Abby's sake), but really it's a job. My position here is sooooooooooooo great. I get to do so much, where I actually feel like I make a contribution and have a REAL purpose, that finding a similar job is going to be extremely difficult. I could not just go be a registrar at another museum - I would be miserable!!!! I am not just a paper-pusher (yes, I do a lot of filing and data entry), but I do so many other cool things, that finding another job where I will be as happy is going to be hard. For example, and this is just one of many, right now I have been helping Amy edit a paper about our unprovenienced artifact agreement that is going to be published in AASLH's History News. I am very proud of this agreement. We took a difficult problem (how to legally accept archaeological specimens of unknown ownership) and found a solution. Federal agencies like the BLM, BIA, USCG, the state, the city, the borough, and native corporations signed this agreement. We are the only such museum in the country to do this (sorry, not sure if I talked about this before).
Anyway, hearing Clair reminded me to focus on the positive. I have a hard time with this sometimes. It's just, I try to do right (talk to me about this, I will tell you some of my schemes and you will realize that I acted much better than I thought about), I apologized, I even begged, I tried to resolve, but I have no control of other people's judgment, condemnation and subsequent discard of me, and that's hard. Likewise, these ups and downs are sometimes not up to me. I'm not saying I am not at fault, but I am reminded constantly and it sucks! But, focus on Clair, focus on MAYBE (I am stuck here ya know) being able to visit her and my family in FL, focus on all the positives.....like Abby's acting abilities. Today we pretended to play hide and seek (yes, you can pretend to play hide and seek), pretending to be scared of the fireworks, even pretending to rescue each other. So fun.

I just mental chaffed again didn't I? Damn. Better to get it out though then sink it in. I know my writing is not as composed as some other blogs I read, and granted I don't have to publicize chaff, but at least I bother to update and speak from the heart without inhibition. I do not need to try to make myself appear lackadaisical for the benefit of others. While the voice may sound sweet, it doesn't mean it's not manipulating you to the extreme. For example, two more kids. One is on the way already, right? I dreamt it.

4th festivities

The sun came out just for me last night! FYI, rain, rain, rain and more freekin rain, until Sat. when I got off work. The sun poked out, and I decided Abby and I were overdue for beach time. She agreed emphatically.
By the time we got to the beach at 8pm it was full-on sunshine. It felt so warm, not only was every beach fly, beach bug, and drunkard out, but we actually took our hats off!!!! I just stared at Abby for at least 15 minutes, admiring her golden hair. I'm not used to seeing it reflect in the sun.
After that, it was candy store (aka WalMart) time, followed by bed at 10:30pm, which is Abby's norm (eek). I stayed up to watch the fireworks, and got to have an oarjsma right at midnight. Ok, tmi, whatever.
This morning it was parade time. The sun was gone agian, but that's ok. Abby had no idea what parade is, but I convinced her it would be fun and out the door we went. Of course she liked it! Back home, relax and play, followed by the beach, and now at the new house for a snack and a nap.
Fun! I like playing, and I'm not done yet.


Wherever we go, if Abby sees anyone, she squeaks "My friends", and promptly runs over to them like they are her best buddies. She is so trusting, and over that debacle, I have no trust, and I worry... I mean, how could anyone treat anyone else so cruelly and inhumanely, and what's going to happen to her and how will my experiences either help or hinder her?

I am the new state rep. for the RC-WR (Registrar’s Committee – Western Region). This group is affiliated with RC-AAM and works with the Western Museum Association.

I have one too many lines on my resume now, and I know which line is going to be deleted. So sad.

Pretty exciting for a rainy Tuesday night:
for various reasons, which also added to the overall excitement of the evening, but which will not be disclosed here, dinner at home wasn't happenin, so we went to Angelo's. They have a sub for $14 that feeds all of us - they're closed. We go to Big Al's for a sandwich and salad - they're closed. Fine. Henry's it is. First, Abby goes to the restroom with daddy to wash her hands, and promptly sticks her hand right in the urinal - eewwwwww!!!
Their menu board states they have sides of mac&cheese - perfect for Abby. They serve her a cup (literally) of Kraft mac&cheese for $3.50! I couldn't believe it. What, tomorrow McDonald's cheeseburgers for $8?! Daddy said that Kraft is the best, therefore they are serving the finest! He said it wasn't Kraft, but rather they have their own noodle machine, and they hand cut and bend each noodle. The cheese is locally made by the transient Turks who go up to Three Sisters and milk the mountain goats. Henry's just then manages to power the cheese and make the sauce taste just like Kraft's.

Making music and dancing on the beach.

What you hear is silence. I live on the "main" road, and I have no direct neighbors behind me or across the street. It's even quite downtown. Imagine the quiet when you get off the road. Btw, 10:52pm.

Apparently my hat was despised. It got damaged, but it's a strong hat, unlike my mental state, and is still in one piece, although not so dapper looking, more shaggy. And I can't get a replacement hat, at least not that one, just like I can't get a replacement soul.

Date night

And yes, I am trying to rock a fedora.

You're mommy's cool, right?! Maybe a little? Ok, well, at least I am to you now! And Daddy does not like my hat, but I don't care. It makes me feel "special", because clearly fedoras are not a part of the Kodiak dress code, which consists of a rain jacket (no umbrellas!), Xtra tuff boots, and carhartts, pj bottoms, or sweat pants. And Abby likes it too. She calls it my pirate hat because it has a parrot on it, arrg matey.

Some friendss offered to watch Abby so we could go on a date. Unfortunately, by the time we got Abby situated, we had all of an hour. We got dressed up - that was about it!

Sushi at lunch made me ill, but hopefully making up for it is an impromptu grill out - ohright! Still smokin hot salmon, dogs, and burgers with a tomato that was almost mildly comparable to good ol' fresh Ohio tmaters.
(Usually don't go out to lunch, but it was Salty and Jill's last day in civilation before they head out to King Salmon for a month!)

Mommy had a good Father's Day. Started slightly rough, but after a lunch of salad with ribeye and blue cheese dressing and rhubarb crisp for dessert, things seemed to improve. I tried my hardest to get a sun burn and heat stroke during our two-ish hours of steaming hot sun, which is a hard goal to accomplish in Kodiak. I may be a slight shade darker then translucent, like semi-translucent, perhaps.
After nap/down time (oh thank goodness), we were refreshed and Abby and I went on a walk (I walk, she sits) to the playground, right after I had a dinner of coffee with sugar and cream, chili with hot sauce, and Dots fruity candy - yes, wow. Then a quick trip to the candy store (Wal-Mart) for diapers, where I splurged and got Abby a Wow Wow Wubzy book and I got myself an entire magazine about the sexy stars of the Twilight saga (ha!). After Pillars I haven't read anything. That's the mood I've been in, which corresponds to the shit that's been going, but as Scarlet said, "Tomorrow is another day" and indeed if it's like today, it will be good. Oh yes, did some other stuff too ;)

Key to a happy life, momma says:

Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts;

Never drink or do drugs;

Eat right and exercise, take care of your body and mind;

Smile and laugh often;

Find something you are good at doing, do it really well, and make money doing it; or

Have a low stress job that makes you happy (money may not be everything, but it will make life easier);

Don't get into debt;

Don't get into debt (yes, I am repeating myself);

Be kind to people, but don't get too involved, many people are mean and untrustworthy, even those you think are beautiful and kind;

Never hug tomorrow when you can hug today;

and pay head to all the other life lessons you hear about so you don't have to make the same mistakes. Over and over again humans repeat themselves it seems, thousands of years and we still can't get it right.

"Resentments is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

I just have to try to breath, and remind myself that this is a narrow-minded sheltered person who simply has failed to recognize that not everyone has a stuck-up prudish attitude about sex (different people/cultures have different beliefs, not everyone conforms to your set). I have to try to understand that this person is simply incapable and too dense to have a mature conversation, rather than making iniquitous decrees based on misunderstandings, because they're inherently self-centered. I have to realize that they have not considered whether they should or even can be held to the same standards. They obviously do not understand the true meaning of forgiveness and do not understand that the same may be applied to them when they make a mistake. This person does not have the imagination to fathom how such a punishment could be so excruciating because they have never had to work very hard, sacrifice much of anything, have never dedicated themselves to anything for very long, or had to support their family by themselves via their own career. I have to try to accept that being punished for being honest and sharing my feelings is indeed just, because I did not have the right to have such inclinations. I have to accept that thinking my professional contribution is important is a fallacy. I am not wanted or needed. I have to realize that not everyone who says they care really cares, and that people are disposable.

Mahatma Ghandi said, "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty," but I say it's tainted.

He said "aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well," but he is wrong.

He is right when he said "Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right."

Not being welcome to participate may be a small freedom to lose, but it means a lot to me.

Recoger la ropa!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxDlC7YV5is
cherry pie, cigarettes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHXo7aCnjM4&NR=1
dreams coming true

http://www.mtv.com/videos/shows/vma-09/435685/sober-live.jhtml#id=1620604
Yes, she is singing upside and tossed around.

We exhausted ourselves silly with all this sun!

I'm not a great believer in hell either. Or in any other form of damnation. But if hell fire exists, it's burning within us. And we feed it with our weakness and failings. If we don't try to put it out, it consumes us, and, even worse, consumes others too. From Private Fears in Public Places
It was way more responsible than some alternatives I can think of.

Pillars of the Earth

My selections are biased. It was a good book, really. I read it voraciously. It was an Oprah Book Club book, so don't judge it by what I choose to like! I will add that the most poignant parts for me were when they were starving - that actually made me think.

Lust never completely ceased to afflict him, but it did eventually become less important, so that it bothered him only now and again, on the rare occasion when his mind and body were idle; like an old injury that hurts in wet weather.

She saw him close his eyes and bend his face towards hers, and then she felt his mouth on her own. His kiss was gentle. He had full lips and a soft beard. She closed her eyes to concentrate on the sensation. His mouth moved against hers, and it seemed natural to part her lips. Her mouth had suddenly become ultra sensitive, so that she could feel the lightest touch, the tiniest movement. The tip of his tongue caressed the inside of her upper lip. She felt so overwhelmed with happiness that she wanted to cry. She pressed her body against his, crushing her soft breasts against his hard chest, feeling the bones of his hip dig into her belly. She was no longer merely relieved he was safe, and glad to have him here. Now there was a new emotion. His physical presence filled her with an ecstatic sensation that made her slightly dizzy. Holding his body in her arms, she wanted to touch him more, to feel more of him, to get even closer. She rubbed his back with her hands. She wanted to feel his skin, but his clothes frustrated her. Without thinking, she opened her mouth and pushed her tongue between his lips. He made a small animal sound in the back of his throat, like a muffled moan of delight.

He was heartbroken. She had kissed him like she loved him, there was no mistaking that. When she left the mill he felt sure they would kiss like that again, soon. He walked around in an erotic haze, thinking: Aliena loves me! ...When she avoided him he thought at first that she was just embarrassed. He waited for her to get over her shyness. ...When it had gone on not just for a few days, but for several weeks, he was forced to admit there was something seriously wrong. A tidal wave of disillusionment engulfed him, and he felt as if he would drown in regret. he was baffled. ...and then the constant feeling of rejection began to get to him, and he felt worthless, stupid, and impotent. He thought how foolish he was, to imagine that the most desirable woman in the county might fall for him. He had amused her for a while, with his stories and his jokes...After a week or two of telling himself how stupid he was he began to get angry. He was irritable at work...On Sunday he wasted his wages..All the passion came out of his work...On one corbel he carved a disturbingly twisted human figure with an expression of pain, condemned, as it were, to an eternity of agony as he held up the vast weight of stone. Jack knew it was brilliant...when Tom saw it he just shook his head. (Sorry, tired of typing, p. 562ish I think, look it up yourself Abby.)

Clearly ambition was to blame. Monks did better to live a life of resignation, accepting the tribulations and setbacks of this world as lessons in patience, taught by the Almighty. As Philip helped to carry the groaning wounded and the unresisting dead out of the ruins of the cathedral, he resolved that in the future he would leave it to God to be ambitious and pushing; he, Philip, would passively accept whatever happened. If God wanted a Cathedral, God would provide a quarry; if the town was burned, it should be taken as a sign that God did not want a fleece fair; and now that the church had fallen down, Philip would not rebuild it.

As he reached that decision, he saw William Hamleigh. (drum roll)

It's all so hurtful.

Other pages of interest:
p.81

p.156
p.278
p.281, 282
p.571
p.573
p.628

Words I didn't know for sure or know quite how to pronounce:
rectitude
fecundity
bilious
chilblain
vacillate
perfunctory

quiescent

lugubriously

apoplectic

Beach Visit 3000!!!

I found this really old light bulb on the beach - intact! It has a hand blown kind of look. I have not seen a bulb like this, so I am guessing pre-my life. You can't see in the pic, but the inside is different.

007

Bond, James Bond. I didn't really ever notice how so fantastically super sexy cool James is. He's hot and stuff, but as a teen I didn't realize the extent of his awesomeness. The intro credits to From Russia with Love are projected on a gyrating belly dancer. I actually read some of them :)The opening scene is a practice hunt and kill of Bond, because he is so lethal only the most trained hitman could kill Bond. In a following scene he's having a picnic with a lady friend, and they are interrupted by his state-of-the-art pager so he can take a phone call in his car. He shushes the lady, "Ssh, it's the office", and he still gets to go into work late because he ate lunch first. Then he gets to the office and tosses his hat perfectly onto the coat rack, and is handed the most sophisticated gadgets so he can go canoodle with a hot Russian babe. Nice.