Yes, Shawen can be mean sometimes. Shawen started emailing me a few months ago. His emails reflect how he often and more regularly behaves, but can it make up for the repeated offences?

March 20

I know when you’re sad; I know when you’re blue.
When I ask you, you tell me it's not true.

I think of why I love you, I do not know what to say.

All I know is I do and I can count the ways.

I love it when you’re happy.

I love when I see it in your eyes.
I love you know what and I LOVE to surprise.
I love your commitment to work,
Even though it makes you come unglued.
I know you’re a great mother,
So do not be sad but have faith

For there is more in store if you can only wait…

If I could make you happy I surely would you know.
If you can only try

Please do not leave me for that would make me cry.
I have done much to change

And more changes I must do.
So all I ask is for you to wait

To hope and pray for love.
Summer is coming and the air smells of spring

When I see a bear

I hope you will always be near...

February 27

When I see you smile, It makes me smile,

When I see you laugh, it makes me happy,

When I see you love, it makes me love,

When I see you c^#, it makes me want to c^#,

I find you attractive, I think you are smart,

I think you ARE the hottest women I have met.

I love and need you Marnie, I want you to be happy and enjoy life. I am sorry I am jealous, mean and crazy. I want our daughter to have all the strengths we do not posses, and I know she will if just work on ours. The first night you were here it was wonderful. I want that all the time. I know why I am addicted to you.

I will always Love you,

Your baby’s Daddy.

February 10

How to proceed....

You want to go someplace with me and Abi.

I would like that, I would like to have a wonderful time Valentine's day with you and her. I want all or nothing Marnie, either there is a chance to get back together, or we must find a way to stop. I can't snuggle with you without my feeling of wanting, loving and being happy with you. I can have sex without that though ;-). But that has to be the rough, fixated and driven animal sex. Me likey!!!!! But the tender caring about you kind hmmmmmmm.

I never slept so good as with you, It still seems to be "right". So let’s get together and see if we can make it work...

I will not tolerate being used.(without some sort of sexual act as a reward).

I am working on my resentments and fears.

I will be more caring and be empathetic to your needs.

I will try to give you more free time.

I will be more loving to you.

I will preform even better in bed. (Think you get emotional now?).

I will work and earn money to help with our bills and Abigail . (I think me getting this place and going to college proves that).
I will not be so negative towards you.

I will lose weight and get in shape.

I will maintain my health and sobriety.

I will not criticize your mother (too much).

These things I WILL do if you will try to love me again. We have had 11 years together I know no one else. I look back on our pictures together, I have seen you happy MANY times and I know you will be happy again.