Pipe dreams

Abz and I went camping on Friday.  The end of non-winter snuck up on me.We got there, started a fire, started setting up tent, to find out the campground is closed! Oops.  They were starting construction the next day, which I did not realize.  We had a good time while there, and then left and slept in our beds.

Silly faces!

Saturday, what did I do?? I know that it was fine ultimately, but weird.  We went on a walk, but Lou rolled in shit. Went and picked blueberries, but Abz's dad started being a dick.  Picked up Abby, had a cocktail, rolled in the hay, and went to sleep.

Sunday we went out to Pasagshak.... 

Just some friendly, or not so, bison in the front yard.

I was sick the entire time there though! So, I got to go, have a good time, but queasy.

On the way back, we stopped at a friend of a friend's house, and lo and behold, they are living in my dream house!  1. Pasagshak. 2. ducks (I want chickens). 3. greenhouse.

4. intimate, hand built.

5. "running" water and electricity.

6. inside like a boat galley.  (There's lots of hidden storage! The only thing it lacks is a space for yoga.)

7. Time! Time for family, for frolicking. 

Abby's first buoy swing ride!

It is theoretically possible for me to have that little house in the woods, but not in reality!  I have no property, no money. I have someone who wants to build a house.  All I want is a house that will fit inside your kitchen, and I can't have it.  It bums me out.  

I am extraordinarily lucky to have the greatest little girl in the world, however, there are many challenges to life.  Being a one person income is the #1 hardship. I am SO, SO close to having the "Kodiak" dream - traditional hunting and gathering, rewarding meaningful career, the lil house in the woods.... yet I am also so far!  And there seems to be NOTHING I can do to change this.  The cost of living here is insane, and I do not earn enough to live in Kodiak.  I can't make more money. I have Abby when not working, so I can't take on another job. I buy next to nothing, so there is no trimming expenditures. Do I leave Kodiak? Don't want to. Might be forced to.