Rihanna - Rehab

Kulluk (Burb)

 When an oil rig crashes in your back yard, you get more barges and ships with supplies, more people, and more money sprinkled around town, including in Tim's pockets!

 He has gotten a lot more hours at the pier, and odd hours they are. He sort of knows the days he works, but never the times. It's whenever the container ship arrives, or in this case, whenever whatever ship needs docking and unloading/loading. In fact, Timmy is pretty whenever too. He is random. No normal office hours. He is a like a Jackson Pollock painting. It makes things interesting, and difficult.

 So, how did I meet his man? Funny story, to me, to us. 

 I was walking on Shelikof with Abby in the stroller. There was this guy walking on the opposite side of the street directly parallel to me. He sort of slowed down, so did I. He sped up, so did I, not really on purpose, just seemed to happen that way. He kept walking though, but I took some initiative and yelled out "Hey you!" I asked him where he from from (since he clearly was not from Kodiak based on his attire). He is from Kodiak. I didn't really believe him. He walked with me and we talked. I was totally weirded out that I had a guy talking to me when I am pushing a stroller (that is not normal!).  We hung out for a couple months. He was pretty weird and I am surprised I continued to hang out with him. I don't know what the hell happened, but we started having a lot of fun together.

The Timmy that was...
The Timmy that was, before the fire, was pretty radical, and pretty fun to be around some times. It's hard to describe him. I only knew him for like five months (seems longer). I had heard a lot about his antics, but only experienced a smidgen. From September to November was, at least thus far, our heyday. Tim has changed a lot in some ways (like less boom and less fireworks), and some a little. He is slightly more aware of how he effects others.

The mid-weeks of January were not pleasant. He just wasn't around and when he was he seemed distressed or very distant. I felt like I had lost him. I guess I did really. He went feral, like a wolf. He ran to the woods for a few days at a time, howled at the moon, and came limping back to my place with a whimper early in the morning. He came to be with me, and eat, and took off again. I picked sticks out of his beard. From what I gather, he felt that I did not deserve him. He would always say to me "what did you do to deserve me?, as in, what  could I have possibly done to deserve someone as wretchedly unworthy as him? At the same as feeling inadequate, he was afraid of losing me. All of this, us, amongst the ruin of his life. It was too much for him to handle.

 This helicopter was flying really low and moving erratically.  I knew they were filming, but there was a moment when they were swerving and about five feet above a light pole where I wondered if they were crashing...and I definitely wondered if they were allowed to fly that freaking low.

Then as they swooshed by I got a shot of him shooting me and me shooting him.

My mom made the Sleeping Beauty dress. When Abby met Princess Aurora, Aurora said "Are you dressed like me or am I dressed like you?!" Abby replied, " We are dressed like each other."

"What's a week-end?"

 Weekends are weird for me. The busy week comes slamming to a halt, Abby usually goes to dad's, and I am left to deal with me. I am usually tired and I spend a bit of time on sleep, especially this time of year when it is dark a lot. Friday I actually got a table and chairs - a place to sit and eat, for more than one person. Unfortunately I hit my head unloading the table. Luckily, I did not get a concussion. I was very happy about that!
On Saturday I woke up, did yoga and walked, took Abby to dance and had a mandatory nap!  I should have spent the evening doing pottery or something, but instead we went to Tim's parents and then Abby and I visited with Amy and Miso Chorizo (the Chihuahua).  It was good to get some girl time.
 

 Sunday started out well. Did yoga, showered, made waffles, and then Pasagshak! It was nice out. Not windy or rainy. Overall an excellent visit, albeit somewhat brief because of the lack of daylight.

 We even happened to go at low tide, which is ideal, because it's necessary for hitting my favorite spots.

 Very foamy. That foam is a foot high or so.

 Abby is a good poser. Sometimes her smile is subdued, sometimes she makes funny faces, and in rare moments, I capture her natural "I am not posing" smile.

Overall a good day. That evening we went to Tim's parents again (I love them!), I dropped him off so he could do some stuff. He came back late, but I got up to hang with him for a bit. Then, out of the blue, he mentally freaked out. He has been rather overwhelmed since the fire, but his behavior was very uncool.  Funny, earlier that day I made Abby promise to have "no crazy boyfriends" when she goes up. How ironic. Anyway, as you promised Abby, they cannot be like Lou the dog, crazy, but sooo cute! Or like Timmy, who rocks my world.

"Where there is desire there is going be a flame.
Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned."

I'm trying to not let myself get too close to this flame. He's hot. Consumes me.  

I can say that I've lived. I have a career, I have an amazing daughter, and I've had Timmy.  

Fire

 Christmas was not what I expected. Timmy was off being Timmy, doing what Timmy does...

 I basically hung out with his family, which was great, but my boyfriend was noticably absent by everyone. I was rather perturbed. We left a on a negative note. We did not talk the next day.  It's weird when we do this. Mere hours feel stretched into eons, both us us with our finger on the phone ready to hit dial.

I saw him downtown that late after noon (already dark). It was a heart pounding eerie feeling seeing him walk by with his stupid big umbrella and backpack knowing damn well he knew he was close to me, but not talking to me (I saw him, he did not see me). Anyway, after I picked up Abby I stopped by the family house because I forget the camera. Timmy's mom seemed happy. She offered me to take the cake I baked to celebrate Tim's birthday (pictured above). I left it saying he/they should have it (cake never got ate. It;s probably still on the counter).  She invited Abby and I to stay (open invite) as Ollie and Steel were there (brother's kids), but as I had not talked to Timmy all day and I was in this "I know he's mad at me when he should not be when he's in the wrong" stage, so I left.

A few hours later he calls me but I missed the call and I had a voicemail. I figured it would just be a click of hanging up. It was not. He says he's hurt and the house is burning....I threw my stuff on, dropped off Abby to dad's and spent the next week in the hospital and with his now displaced family, who literally walked out the door without shoes and coats.

 The Do Not Cross Fire Line got stuck on my car and was transported to the hospital.

 I have debated for weeks even what to say or write about this. Should I post pictures?  I can't just not put this in my journal. It's impacted everyone, including Abby. In the fire Tim's cat died. Abby looked at me randomly the other day and said "Poor Dave".

  I am posting ONE picture of the aftermath.These are on Thanksgiving.

 This is what is left. The clock has stopped at 8:20pm. 

 I could not post the photo of what this area looks like now. This hallway had some special memories for us. The hallway is gone.

 Life has changed dramatically and been topsy turvy, with highs and lows. I can't help thinking that if I would have stayed, it would not have happened, which is true. It might have happened later, during the middle of the night and people could have been hurt. It might not have happened at all. I do know that nothing short of this destruction would have changed Timmy's path. I wish we could have had more time together as he was, prior to this. He was thrilling.  I also have learned who friends are. Ironically, look who has been so supportive!

Christmas

Disney the rest

 LIGHTS!

 CAMERA!

 Abby requesting granddad take her photo in front of the big hat.

 

 ACTION!

Abby's buddy at It's a Small World.

Abby hearts Goofy.

Disney World

 The cutest Minnie ever!

 Breakfast with characters. At first Abby was shy. By the end she would run up to Goofy and say, "Hey, you remember me?!"

 My favorite was the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse.

 My dream kitchen.

 Everything was quite spectacular lit up.

 Abby got to meet like every princess. It was my mom's planning and hard work that made this trip so successful.

 "Are you dressed like me or am I dressed like you?" Aurora asked Abby.