I am the new state rep. for the RC-WR (Registrar’s Committee – Western Region). This group is affiliated with RC-AAM and works with the Western Museum Association.

I have one too many lines on my resume now, and I know which line is going to be deleted. So sad.

Pretty exciting for a rainy Tuesday night:
for various reasons, which also added to the overall excitement of the evening, but which will not be disclosed here, dinner at home wasn't happenin, so we went to Angelo's. They have a sub for $14 that feeds all of us - they're closed. We go to Big Al's for a sandwich and salad - they're closed. Fine. Henry's it is. First, Abby goes to the restroom with daddy to wash her hands, and promptly sticks her hand right in the urinal - eewwwwww!!!
Their menu board states they have sides of mac&cheese - perfect for Abby. They serve her a cup (literally) of Kraft mac&cheese for $3.50! I couldn't believe it. What, tomorrow McDonald's cheeseburgers for $8?! Daddy said that Kraft is the best, therefore they are serving the finest! He said it wasn't Kraft, but rather they have their own noodle machine, and they hand cut and bend each noodle. The cheese is locally made by the transient Turks who go up to Three Sisters and milk the mountain goats. Henry's just then manages to power the cheese and make the sauce taste just like Kraft's.

Making music and dancing on the beach.

What you hear is silence. I live on the "main" road, and I have no direct neighbors behind me or across the street. It's even quite downtown. Imagine the quiet when you get off the road. Btw, 10:52pm.

Apparently my hat was despised. It got damaged, but it's a strong hat, unlike my mental state, and is still in one piece, although not so dapper looking, more shaggy. And I can't get a replacement hat, at least not that one, just like I can't get a replacement soul.

Date night

And yes, I am trying to rock a fedora.

You're mommy's cool, right?! Maybe a little? Ok, well, at least I am to you now! And Daddy does not like my hat, but I don't care. It makes me feel "special", because clearly fedoras are not a part of the Kodiak dress code, which consists of a rain jacket (no umbrellas!), Xtra tuff boots, and carhartts, pj bottoms, or sweat pants. And Abby likes it too. She calls it my pirate hat because it has a parrot on it, arrg matey.

Some friendss offered to watch Abby so we could go on a date. Unfortunately, by the time we got Abby situated, we had all of an hour. We got dressed up - that was about it!

Sushi at lunch made me ill, but hopefully making up for it is an impromptu grill out - ohright! Still smokin hot salmon, dogs, and burgers with a tomato that was almost mildly comparable to good ol' fresh Ohio tmaters.
(Usually don't go out to lunch, but it was Salty and Jill's last day in civilation before they head out to King Salmon for a month!)

Mommy had a good Father's Day. Started slightly rough, but after a lunch of salad with ribeye and blue cheese dressing and rhubarb crisp for dessert, things seemed to improve. I tried my hardest to get a sun burn and heat stroke during our two-ish hours of steaming hot sun, which is a hard goal to accomplish in Kodiak. I may be a slight shade darker then translucent, like semi-translucent, perhaps.
After nap/down time (oh thank goodness), we were refreshed and Abby and I went on a walk (I walk, she sits) to the playground, right after I had a dinner of coffee with sugar and cream, chili with hot sauce, and Dots fruity candy - yes, wow. Then a quick trip to the candy store (Wal-Mart) for diapers, where I splurged and got Abby a Wow Wow Wubzy book and I got myself an entire magazine about the sexy stars of the Twilight saga (ha!). After Pillars I haven't read anything. That's the mood I've been in, which corresponds to the shit that's been going, but as Scarlet said, "Tomorrow is another day" and indeed if it's like today, it will be good. Oh yes, did some other stuff too ;)

Key to a happy life, momma says:

Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts;

Never drink or do drugs;

Eat right and exercise, take care of your body and mind;

Smile and laugh often;

Find something you are good at doing, do it really well, and make money doing it; or

Have a low stress job that makes you happy (money may not be everything, but it will make life easier);

Don't get into debt;

Don't get into debt (yes, I am repeating myself);

Be kind to people, but don't get too involved, many people are mean and untrustworthy, even those you think are beautiful and kind;

Never hug tomorrow when you can hug today;

and pay head to all the other life lessons you hear about so you don't have to make the same mistakes. Over and over again humans repeat themselves it seems, thousands of years and we still can't get it right.

"Resentments is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

I just have to try to breath, and remind myself that this is a narrow-minded sheltered person who simply has failed to recognize that not everyone has a stuck-up prudish attitude about sex (different people/cultures have different beliefs, not everyone conforms to your set). I have to try to understand that this person is simply incapable and too dense to have a mature conversation, rather than making iniquitous decrees based on misunderstandings, because they're inherently self-centered. I have to realize that they have not considered whether they should or even can be held to the same standards. They obviously do not understand the true meaning of forgiveness and do not understand that the same may be applied to them when they make a mistake. This person does not have the imagination to fathom how such a punishment could be so excruciating because they have never had to work very hard, sacrifice much of anything, have never dedicated themselves to anything for very long, or had to support their family by themselves via their own career. I have to try to accept that being punished for being honest and sharing my feelings is indeed just, because I did not have the right to have such inclinations. I have to accept that thinking my professional contribution is important is a fallacy. I am not wanted or needed. I have to realize that not everyone who says they care really cares, and that people are disposable.

Mahatma Ghandi said, "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty," but I say it's tainted.

He said "aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well," but he is wrong.

He is right when he said "Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right."

Not being welcome to participate may be a small freedom to lose, but it means a lot to me.

Recoger la ropa!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxDlC7YV5is
cherry pie, cigarettes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHXo7aCnjM4&NR=1
dreams coming true

http://www.mtv.com/videos/shows/vma-09/435685/sober-live.jhtml#id=1620604
Yes, she is singing upside and tossed around.

We exhausted ourselves silly with all this sun!

I'm not a great believer in hell either. Or in any other form of damnation. But if hell fire exists, it's burning within us. And we feed it with our weakness and failings. If we don't try to put it out, it consumes us, and, even worse, consumes others too. From Private Fears in Public Places
It was way more responsible than some alternatives I can think of.

Pillars of the Earth

My selections are biased. It was a good book, really. I read it voraciously. It was an Oprah Book Club book, so don't judge it by what I choose to like! I will add that the most poignant parts for me were when they were starving - that actually made me think.

Lust never completely ceased to afflict him, but it did eventually become less important, so that it bothered him only now and again, on the rare occasion when his mind and body were idle; like an old injury that hurts in wet weather.

She saw him close his eyes and bend his face towards hers, and then she felt his mouth on her own. His kiss was gentle. He had full lips and a soft beard. She closed her eyes to concentrate on the sensation. His mouth moved against hers, and it seemed natural to part her lips. Her mouth had suddenly become ultra sensitive, so that she could feel the lightest touch, the tiniest movement. The tip of his tongue caressed the inside of her upper lip. She felt so overwhelmed with happiness that she wanted to cry. She pressed her body against his, crushing her soft breasts against his hard chest, feeling the bones of his hip dig into her belly. She was no longer merely relieved he was safe, and glad to have him here. Now there was a new emotion. His physical presence filled her with an ecstatic sensation that made her slightly dizzy. Holding his body in her arms, she wanted to touch him more, to feel more of him, to get even closer. She rubbed his back with her hands. She wanted to feel his skin, but his clothes frustrated her. Without thinking, she opened her mouth and pushed her tongue between his lips. He made a small animal sound in the back of his throat, like a muffled moan of delight.

He was heartbroken. She had kissed him like she loved him, there was no mistaking that. When she left the mill he felt sure they would kiss like that again, soon. He walked around in an erotic haze, thinking: Aliena loves me! ...When she avoided him he thought at first that she was just embarrassed. He waited for her to get over her shyness. ...When it had gone on not just for a few days, but for several weeks, he was forced to admit there was something seriously wrong. A tidal wave of disillusionment engulfed him, and he felt as if he would drown in regret. he was baffled. ...and then the constant feeling of rejection began to get to him, and he felt worthless, stupid, and impotent. He thought how foolish he was, to imagine that the most desirable woman in the county might fall for him. He had amused her for a while, with his stories and his jokes...After a week or two of telling himself how stupid he was he began to get angry. He was irritable at work...On Sunday he wasted his wages..All the passion came out of his work...On one corbel he carved a disturbingly twisted human figure with an expression of pain, condemned, as it were, to an eternity of agony as he held up the vast weight of stone. Jack knew it was brilliant...when Tom saw it he just shook his head. (Sorry, tired of typing, p. 562ish I think, look it up yourself Abby.)

Clearly ambition was to blame. Monks did better to live a life of resignation, accepting the tribulations and setbacks of this world as lessons in patience, taught by the Almighty. As Philip helped to carry the groaning wounded and the unresisting dead out of the ruins of the cathedral, he resolved that in the future he would leave it to God to be ambitious and pushing; he, Philip, would passively accept whatever happened. If God wanted a Cathedral, God would provide a quarry; if the town was burned, it should be taken as a sign that God did not want a fleece fair; and now that the church had fallen down, Philip would not rebuild it.

As he reached that decision, he saw William Hamleigh. (drum roll)

It's all so hurtful.

Other pages of interest:
p.81

p.156
p.278
p.281, 282
p.571
p.573
p.628

Words I didn't know for sure or know quite how to pronounce:
rectitude
fecundity
bilious
chilblain
vacillate
perfunctory

quiescent

lugubriously

apoplectic

Beach Visit 3000!!!

I found this really old light bulb on the beach - intact! It has a hand blown kind of look. I have not seen a bulb like this, so I am guessing pre-my life. You can't see in the pic, but the inside is different.

007

Bond, James Bond. I didn't really ever notice how so fantastically super sexy cool James is. He's hot and stuff, but as a teen I didn't realize the extent of his awesomeness. The intro credits to From Russia with Love are projected on a gyrating belly dancer. I actually read some of them :)The opening scene is a practice hunt and kill of Bond, because he is so lethal only the most trained hitman could kill Bond. In a following scene he's having a picnic with a lady friend, and they are interrupted by his state-of-the-art pager so he can take a phone call in his car. He shushes the lady, "Ssh, it's the office", and he still gets to go into work late because he ate lunch first. Then he gets to the office and tosses his hat perfectly onto the coat rack, and is handed the most sophisticated gadgets so he can go canoodle with a hot Russian babe. Nice.

Lucky's final hurrah

Well, Lucky is no more. I feel guilty as hell about. I know I probably should not, but technically he could have lived another 2 weeks, a month, don' t know, and I feel bad. But don't get sniffly too quick, he's not totally out of my life yet.

I really didn't know what to do with his remains. I have no idea where I would bury him. I doubt I would be successful in digging a deep hole on someone else's property as I do not even have a shovel. I used to just get my pets cremated. Silly perhaps, but that's my preferred disposal. So, on the island, this is not an option, unless you're rich. $150 and his ashes are dumped at the dump? $350 and you get him back. I then heard about a place in Anchorage, Harthaven. $35 for a group, and $95 for private, plus shipping. This seems fine to me, just have to ship him to Anchorage. Everyone assures me this is fine, people do this. So I call AK airlines to find out details. Blah blah blah no styrofoam, wait, no, that was he has to be in a styrofoam box, which I find out when I arrive at the airport.

Shit, were do I get a styrofoam lined box? After 6 phone calls, Island Seafoods has them. I go, get one that seems to be not really the best size, but that's all there is. I get home and go to put Lucky in the box, and he doesn't fit! I kind of push a little, no, he's not fitting. Are you kidding me?! What kind of bad sitcom is this?

So, he goes back to the vet's freezer. All of this on a day where I am (really, really) sick, Shawen yells at me, and Abby has the worst temper tantrum ever.

Correction, Lucky's group cremation in Kodiak is only $20. Sold!