Don't like it, then don't read it

I couldn't have conjured this rainbow to appear the moment I arrived if I tried. But I wonder, what is the limit to our thoughts? I told Timmy about the hair loss. He asked what it is that I thought. I replied, "I thought that perhaps her inner appearance should reflect her outer." He said, "Ah, and the frame was destroyed." Does it have anything to do with me? Probably not. I hope not. Does my appearance at this site for the first time in years have any correlation to the appearance of a rainbow at that exact moment? Unlikely.
  
Sometimes we think things we regret. After listening to about ten minutes of ridiculing and bantering and complaining and demanding and downright absolute rudeness, Timmy told the person on the other line they would "taste the flame." Words to hurt and nothing more. He has experience in this department, and knows the sting. She tragically was badly burnt days later. It is horrible with no good outcome. I have learned it is wise to not even think bad thoughts, and I have a mind set as to not now and in the future. Good thoughts bring goodness one hopes. There is so much loss and suffering in this world, it doesn't need any more. 

Thus, I am fully cognoscente that there are far more egregious aspects to life than my petty exile, but it is something to focus on, because it is one of the aspects I cannot change. I love the history of WWII on Kodiak, and I have been deemed too nefarious to be a part of it. A million good thoughts would not help. You wonder, what did this expulsion do to me these past years?

Having lost faith in myself, I pulled away from everyone here. I isolated myself because I felt unworthy. It made the people I know feel like THEY were unworthy of my acquaintanceship, when in fact it is I who is too lowly. I spend my life on this Rock with my daughter, my cat, Timothy when he decides to make himself available, his family, the trees, salty water, and rocks. It is not just the place I lost, but I lost any hope, of ever being, anything but an outcast.